I live in my own fantasy world.

Simple tricks to being a stellar party host


When we get older and have our own territory, those of us who are house-proud enjoy showing off our living space to friends and family.

It’s not hard to throw a party… a room full of adults plus a few alcoholic beverages and you’ve got yourself a wild night. But maybe too wild, or not wild enough.

Gone are the days of “Oh so-and-so’s parents aren’t home, let’s find some beer and throw a rager”. Nowadays parties usually take a little organisation ahead of time; sophisticated adult guests appreciate a gathering which has been well-planned out.

If you want to host a stellar party, be sure to make the following preparations:

Funny housewife / woman behind window spraying the cleaner on glass, foam / soap on glass

  1. Clean your house BEFORE guests come.

My old roommate and I were throwing a house-warming party, and bless her heart, she didn’t feel it was necessary for me to clean the house before the big night. “The house is going to get dirty… we’ll clean up after”.

But the thing is, I don’t want people thinking that two civilised young ladies live in a pig-sty. So I swept, mopped the floors, cleaned out the fridge, and did the bathroom. Well we had a lot of compliments on our beautiful home. And, if you have a clean home, guests will do their best to keep it clean, avoid spills, throw out garbage etc. A filthy home will be treated as a filthy home, so you better get your clean on.


2. Remember the ICE.

Ice can be one of the most annoying, last minute things to deal with before a party. More than likely you’ll have forgotten to fill your ice cube trays; and four trays of a dozen cubes will not be enough for a house full of guests anyways.

Your party people will likely not have their minds on ice either, but it’s the first thing they will request when pouring their first mixed drink. Pick up a bag or two prior to your party, or text one of the fashionably late attendees as soon as you notice the cubes are missing.


3. Stock up with “drunk food” snacks.

Hungry guests are happy guests. Chips and salsa, Smartfood Popcorn, and Krispy Creme Donuts are all favourites of an individual who’s a couple of shots in. The truly sophisticated host will have a selection of hors d’oeuvres, imported cheese with those wee little knives, and pretty patterned napkins.

Ordering a hot, fresh pizza is sure to score the most brownie points. Food is a necessary though- one time I didn’t have enough food out at a pre-party and I came home after the bar and my oven was still on from a guest who tried to heat up MY Chinese take-out leftovers.


4. Stock the bathroom with plenty of toilet paper and refill the hand soap.

Be sure there is a fresh roll out for the guests to use. Keep at least half a dozen rolls in a visible or easy-to-find place (like under the sink) so that guests who are a little tipsy don’t start using their imagination when finding an alternative for TP.

In my experience, I’ve seen desperate females use sanitary towels as paper, and after throwing it in the garbage, the host’s cat had a rummage and got it stuck to its fur.

Make sure the hand soap is full too; especially if you have shared bowls of chips where everyone’s hands will end up.


5. Keep your phone on you.

When we are the host, we’re all guilty of neglecting our phones even though we know our guests will frantically be trying to reach us for directions. It’s natural to forget technology and get sucked into the welcome punch along with your first round of guests… but don’t be that host. Have your phone in your pocket or bra, on loud and vibrate, so that when your guests are lost in the middle of bum **** nowhere they can call you when their GPS gives out.


6. Have a super awesome playlist prepared.

The trick to music at a party is to play it as background noise until the dancing kicks up a notch. For me the dancing begins the moment the music is on before a single drop of booze is consumed; but for those who are more self-conscious this may mean a good 3-5 drinks in. Start off playing pop/ soft electro jams, tasteful remixes of Top 40, then when the wine takes over, switch to the songs with profanities and a strong beat to get those hips on the dance floor swinging.

organised shoes

7. Keep everyone’s shoes organised.

It’s hard to keep shoes at a party organised when everyone just kicks them off willy-nillie and lumped in a disorderly pile. And of course, you’re going to look like even more of a prude for pairing them together in tidy lines than you did when you told your guests to remove their footwear in the first place.

But trust me. Coming from an anal host like myself, your guests will love you if at the end of the night their $120 Aldo Heals are paired together, upright and they do not need to rummage through a sea of muddy, puke-covered Timberlands to get to them. Stay on top of the shoe pile, and let your guests leave happy.


8. Use the left behind booze to throw another party next week!

People can’t be bothered to reclaim their bottle of vodka from the freezer, their beers from the cooler, or find the cork to reseal their wine bottle, so inevitably at the end of the party you’ll be left with a lot of boozy surprises.

Don’t be selfish and keep all this left over fun for you and your roommate to sip away at over the next week while watching Sex and the City re-runs… be a GREAT host and throw another party with the booze next week!