I’ll be the first one to admit I have gained a noticeable amount of weight in the past few weeks. 10 lbs to be exact which is a lot for someone who was 5”4 and 112lbs.
I moved from a warm climate where I walked everywhere to an arctic tundra where the only time I leave my house is to drive to the tanning salon. Oh, and I returned to North America – the legendary home of all things fatty, sugary and greasy.
I’ve had to watch my weight almost all my life, from a chubby kid, one skinny year as a teenager, then packing on the freshman 15- or 30- in university. I managed to loose it all my senior year and people said I was even “too thin”.
But I’m not unhealthy. I just watch what I eat. I don’t sing along to Megan Training Bra or whatever her name is about how everyone loves a curvy chick.
People like what they like. I like boys with washboard abs and the ones I like like cute, adorable, pocket-sized things like me.
Now that I “look great” and I “look healthy”, I’m starting to qualify as being fat enough to be allowed “fat moments”.
As a former twig person, here’s a list of what commonly occurs when skinny people try to join in on conversations about weight – aka. Fat moments.
You say you look pregnant.
Friend: Oh shut up you’re not fat.
You: I’m not saying I look fat, I look pregnant. I’m bloated, I just ate an entire rotisserie- style quarter-chicken dinner with a bread roll.
2. You: Ugh I just really want a donut right now.
Friend: Well just eat a donut then, you can afford to.
You: And that’s exactly why I can afford to eat them; because I don’t.
3. You: My pants are getting tight.
Friend: That’s cause you’re like a size zero.
4. Friend: I need to loose weight.
You: Yeah me too, I’ve gained a few.
Friend: Oh shut up (yes once again the ‘shut up’ is thrown in). You look great.
5. Friend: Gosh I look so fat.
You: ————- awkward…
6. Friend: Awh. Look at all your little baby clothes.
7. Friend: Eww delete that picture, I look huge.
You: okay we’re deleting this one I look fat.
Friend: OMG you’re not fat.
You: I know, but I look like a cheeseburger in that photo.
Friend: Great. Now I want a cheeseburger. Thanks. Can I use your scale?
I know I’m not fat but I also know when a scale tells me I’m heavier than before, or what it is like to have a pair of pants go from sweatpants to hot pants.
Just because I’m skinny or even a “healthy” weight does not mean my fat moments don’t exist.
Fat moments, fat moments. Yeah.