We planned to elope in one month in Punta Cana

OUR SECRET PUNTA CANA WEDDING WAS PLANNED IN A MONTH – Choosing the Ceremony

If you’d have told me, at any point in my 20s, that I’d be married before I was 30, I’d have laughed in stubborn and sour disbelief. In the ‘olden days’ when my parents were my age, if a woman wasn’t married or have plans to marry by the time she was 30, other women would assume there’s ‘something wrong with her’. To be quite honest, I was leaning more towards accepting a life as a lonely spinster, until I met my other half, Brendan.

After only a year of dating Brendan, because of all we’ve been through, I knew he was ‘the one’. The idea of marriage had been brought up as a possibility, however, because of complicated situations, I assumed it would come with many challenges and a lot of stress. Planning a ‘big wedding’ was something I had no interest in, and neither did Brendan.

Two months ago, on March 11th 2020, I married the person I know I love. In less than two years, I have been through and walked out from the most complicated situations with him; therefore, I am confident he is my other half. On the beach of the RIU Republica in Punta Cana, Brendan and I had a beautiful ceremony, and spent the entire day, just the two of us. With only one month to plan, we decided to get married on our trip. We booked the trip on February 8th, and on February 9th 2020, our official one-and-a-half year anniversary, we made the decision to elope.

T-Shirts made by my girl Lisa at Wood2Wonders

This is Part 2 of what I plan to be a series of blogs describing the different parts of the planning, lead up, ceremony and celebrations, and returning home to a world which COVID-19 changed forever. Very few couples can say they spent the two months following their wedding spending all day, every day together, during this time of frustrating ‘social distancing’ and quarantine.

Of course, we are beyond fortunate that we had our dream wedding go perfectly, and only a week before things in Canada spiralled into chaos…the borders closed, hence many events, including weddings, had to be cancelled. But, it is strange that we have been ‘Husband and Wife’ for two months, and have had few opportunities to talk about it. We haven’t even given my parents a hug since we got back. Celebrations will come in the summer or when ‘gatherings’ are no longer illegal, and my Mum can do her part in planning what she chooses. For me, I had everything I wanted from a perfect wedding day. You can read the first post here.

This blog is about one of the first choices we made in the planning process: Choosing the ceremony.

There are several types of ceremonies available for couples wishing to have a destination wedding. If you wish to be legally married by a local judge or Catholic Priest, the process is far more tricky and time consuming. Information specific to the country you wish to be married can usually be found through your hotel’s website. The following information was available on RIU’s website under Dominican Republic.

* Civil/Legal ceremonies: are legally recognized and are performed by a Judge.
* Symbolic Ceremonies: are performed by a non-denominational Minister and are not legally recognized. (No documents required)
* Renewal of Vows: are performed by a non-denominational Minister and are not legally recognized (Certificate of marriage required)
* Catholic Ceremonies: are performed by a Catholic Priest.

Requirements vary depending on the country, but usually include having to get your government identification and certificates translated into Spanish. The ceremonies are usually performed in Spanish, but the benefit is receiving a beautiful marriage certificate from the country, as well as your marriage being legally and in turn, more legitimate than a ‘Symbolic Ceremony’. Of course, in order to have all these documents available to make your wedding legal at the destination, you will have needed to be legally married in Canada months before your ‘wedding’.

Given the short notice and our limited budget, our wedding planner, Yessica, recommended choosing a Symbolic Ceremony. Our wedding would still be performed by a non-denominational Dominican Minister, but in English. Although not legally recognized, we still signed a certificate with our marriage recognized by the RIU Republica. Of course, the gesture of the wedding is what truly counts. We’d deal with making our marriage legal in Canada after our trip.

Before we left to Punta Cana, the talk of the COVID-19 pandemic was present, but we never imagined we would have to wait this long for the courthouses to re-open, and even start the process for a legal marriage in Canada. One bonus is that in Hamilton, 2020 will be the first year they perform Civil Marriage Ceremonies.

Our plan had been to get the marriage certificate, and then book a Civil Marriage Ceremony at Hamilton’s City Hall within a month upon our return. Since non-essential government services have been unavailable the past two months, the farthest we’ve got is printing out the application for a Marriage License. From there, we need to book the date at the courthouse along with a consultation meeting. Once the date is chosen, we will have a simple courthouse wedding with my family present, and obtain the official legal Canadian Marriage Certificate.

Although I am already referring to myself as Lauren Long, and changed my name on Facebook, it is after we obtain the Marriage Certificate when I can legally change my name.

We’ve done it backwards to how most couples who choose a destination wedding do it: we chose to have the special day, then deal with the ‘legal stuff’. For Brendan and I, our official wedding anniversary will always be March 11th 2020. Whatever the date happens to be on our Canadian Marriage Certificate will only be the formality for which legally commemorates the vows we already made to each other in Punta Cana.